As noted earlier, Nikki and Brie Bella discuss their life and career in their new book titled “Incomparable.”
The book reveals a lot of never-before-told details on their life and career and Nikki discusses John Cena while not directly saying his name.
“I am attached to a very disturbing core belief that I am only lovable when I put other people first,” Nikki wrote. “That I only deserve their affection because I am useful and handy. I learned from my ex that this is a profound fallacy. He could see the real me and love me just the same. It felt too good to be true; I felt undeserving.”
Nikki then talked about her and John not aligning when it came to wanting kids. She wrote, “Because I was terrified of losing my love, I stuffed my desire for marriage and kids as deep as I could.” She continued, “He had made it clear that they weren’t on the menu for him. That’s tough, though, because if you’re inclined that way, then the more you grow to love someone, the more you want it all. I stopped giving voice to those needs, though. I was worried my ex would call it off and let me go. And while I wanted those things very badly—I just wanted him more.”
Nikki went on to say that she panicked and “broke” as their wedding day got closer. She said that she felt that she needed to walk away and let it all go.
Nikki wrote, “The fallout was terrible, particularly the speculation within the news media and on social media that it was all for ratings. The thing about reality TV is that you don’t get to pick and choose what you show—and the pressure from filming inherently creates drama.”
She concluded, “It brings things to a head by applying a heavy load to the sensitive parts of your life. Having our relationship fall apart on national TV was excruciating. I had to relive it all again, while also having my heart broken from missing my ex.”
The speculation on their relationship came when photos leaked online of Nikki and John together when they were supposedly split up on Total Bellas.
Click here to read another excerpt from the book where Nikki reveals that she was raped twice while in high school.
Nikki and Brie’s new memoir is available now at all book retail locations, including Amazon.com.
Nikki and Brie Bella's new memoir – "Incomparable" pic.twitter.com/iyB8AkXQ3z