AJ Styles retired at the Royal Rumble in January, and speaking on Insight With Chris Van Vliet from Rusev’s Catch Pro Wrestling Academy in Nashville, he admitted the lead-up scrambled him in ways he did not expect.
“I’m not saying I didn’t get weird near the end of knowing I was going to retire or leave WWE. I got weird, dude,” Styles said. “I just was questioning everything. A normal sane AJ Styles would not question this. It would just be what it is.”
His mind even went to the mechanics of the finish, and he worried he had put his concerns on Triple H.
“The moment where I found out Gunther was in the Royal Rumble, I was like, what the freak? And I think I made Triple H feel awful about it, oh man, I didn’t even think about that, when reality is, nobody thought about that,” Styles said. “So I just got weird, man. So my apologies to everyone who I acted that way. I was just in a weird state of mind.”
Part of the weirdness, he said, was the sheer uncertainty of what comes next after a life built entirely around one thing.
“This is all I’ve ever known. I’ve invested my life into this career, and I think the only way you get to this point where you’ve reached the heights is you have to be obsessed with it, and I was,” Styles said. “I didn’t know anything. I’m the worst. In fact, I end up breaking stuff. So when that’s all you know, and you don’t know what else to do, and what is life after, it’s very confusing and emotional.”
The reality hit hardest right after the match itself. Styles said the roster was waiting for him in Gorilla, with Abyss pulling him in “like a big brother,” but he had to get away to be alone.
“It was shortly after that when I was done hugging everybody, freaking really hit me, and I knew it was about to happen. So I had to get away from everybody,” Styles said. He found a locker room being used to store luggage. “I was changing there all by myself with the luggage, and I ran in there and I thought I closed the door behind me, but apparently it didn’t. It just bounced right wide open. I had to stand there for a second and just gather my thoughts and shed a couple tears because AJ Styles is no longer wrestling again. That was tough.”
He said Shane Helms found him there.
“I just needed Shane Helms being the first one to come in there, and he knew what was up. I think he’s been through that somewhat before, and he kind of gave me a hug, and I just needed to get that out,” Styles said. “I needed that hug from Shane, and I was okay.”
Asked if he feels like he has to grieve it, Styles said the person can continue, but the performer is gone.
“It’s this character that has been AJ Styles for 27 years no longer exists. I mean, I can be AJ Styles, but AJ Styles in the ring, that’s not going to happen. It’s gone, and that’s a hard pill to swallow,” Styles said. “Knowing that you’re not going to walk down the aisle anymore, people are going to forget your name.”
Even his return to WWE’s programming since has kept the loss at arm’s length, thanks to how his role has changed.
“That was very weird, but I think the injuries that I had kind of prepared me for what that looked like, and our schedule wasn’t bad at all, so my bag still stays in the same position because I’m leaving, going to the performance center or wherever they need me to be,” Styles said. “So it still sits there.”
